nani ∞

before i was born i imagine my soul was swimming gently through a beautiful galaxy...
and then my mother and father created a life.  i believe the universe chose a body for my spirit to reside during my earth journey, based on the souls that created the life. the perfect pair to understand, teach, nurture and guide an indigo child into a conscious queen. i also believe the universe chose my body based on the love & vibrations my nani sent out when this body was just forming inside my mothers womb. the universe gave me to my first two soulmates to guide me before i was born to earth. mom & nani.

i don't understand why people feel that a soul mate can only be a romantic partner and/or that you can only have one soul mate. i count four that are mine. i never imagined losing one. especially not one of my two that have been with me since i began my earth journey. but at last, my beautiful nani has finished her earth journey and her spirit returned to the universe.

when i was early in my journey and trying to understand death, my nani told me that we would all leave this earth eventually, as it is not a permanent home. in my lack of understanding, just the thought that nani would also one day experience death upset me, as i couldn't imagine my life without her. i told her she would always be with me, and she agreed that she would but explained to me that one day our bodies may not be together.

as the years passed, i always feared the day would come, but never imagined it actually would. but i am glad to know her soul is released from the suffering associated with her body and that she is truly free again. her life journey was beautiful and full of love, painful- as all are, and most  importantly, her journey was enjoyed by her and enjoyable to those she shared her life with.

i am so grateful to have been loved so perpetually by one individual. so much so that if i never experienced love from anywhere else or ever again she gave me enough love for a lifetime, enough to make my whole life worthwhile. i am so blessed by the universe to have been able to share my life with her, to learn from her and to love her and even be able to take care of her sometimes- albeit a fraction of the time she took care of me.

i am so sad to lose her physically, although she will forever be apart of me. sadness deeper than any i have EVER known. memories that will never leave me, and a love that will last, even after my soul is free of my body. in spite of my sadness, i find peace that she is free. i am infinitely delighted and eternally beholden that the universe gave her to me.

Gloria E. Turner   01/02/1948 -09/25/2014
"Nani"   ∞